School goes back on Tuesday. Pretty spooky stuff.

Someone said to me the other night that they knew this Summer would be big. It certainly has been. Sadness in abundance, but it made everyone think about things.

I've had so many D&M moments of clarity with people I care for. A little spot in a silence in a conversation where you get that this-is-right,-this-is-human feeling... It makes me wish I had more lives to live. I'm so so happy, but I wish I could be there for everyone in every way they need, but I don't have that much of me to go around, I can only do so much while guarding the relationships I'm so happy with. If that makes any sense.

We've fallen into such a comfortable niche this Summer. Essen/Civic and Dickson and Javo's couch and star watching. I doubt it's ever been so hard to go back to school as it will be now. I wonder how we ever had enough time to be good friends when we had normal responsibilities.

So, I quit slash got fired from my job… I’m thinking this is a good thing. It’ll be even better once I get out of Secretary-Mode. I’ve applied at Target (pronounced Tar-zhei darlings) which would be kind of cool, though Tara and the guys from her work who I met last night are like “OMG COME WORK AT CAFÉ PRONTO WITH US!!!” I guess I wouldn’t mind café work, but Target is standing up in air conditioning and space, Café Pronto would be standing up in busy kitchen etc. and lame. I so don’t deal well with standing up for long periods of time, it makes me dizzy ^^;;; So yeah, hopefully Target, but I’ll apply at Café Pronto if Target rejects me.

There are a lot of little things in my head today, not all of them speakable right now. I feel like I’m lying to people by not talking, like they might feel I don’t trust them. I most certainly do, but all these things are still in raw-form, and I’m not ready to share.

I’m working through this whole confusing brain thing, but at the same time, I’m trying to help a couple of other people do the same thing. My mother always says ‘if a job’s worth doing, it’s worth doing properly’, and I hope I’ll be able to do things properly while doing them all together.

On a less pensive note, I got kick-ass sunglasses. ‘Fuck-off Sunnies’ per say? Hah hah.

“You know there’s an easier way.”

Yes, I do. I just wish I could find it.

[Perhaps some more late-night-tea-fuelled musings later in the evening… Perhaps.]