"Time does make fools of us all" - Mion.... Shakespeare?

David said that to me when he told me he'd been planning to ask Lex out on Valentine's Day but couldn't find the right moment. It seems oddly apt in most situations surrounding my life right now. Time is making a very big fool of me. In regard to pretty much everything...

I need to get in control. I'm regiming. Super healthy food and not too much of it, min. 2 hours homework a day, and no more drinking ever. If I do all that stuff, maybe then I can pretend I'm coping with the emotional stuff. Maybe.

I need to get my act together with my lithograph print in art... I have the afternoon off tomorrow, maybe I can spend it in there... I still don't even know what to draw, I hate black and white tonal stuff in CA... Though that reminds me, my negatives look like they came out well, maybe I have a knack for long exposure photography =P I'll whip up a proof sheet first period, and maybe I'll go to Lex's at some point in the holy-days and have a fat scanning sesh. Take my usb thinger and load it up with neg scans, fix them up at home and submit them to devart. That can take my mind of things perhaps... And then I can get them printed... *Le sigh*

::Na na na na na - Kaiser Chiefs:: ::luff::

Lynette, my English teacher, is the sweetest creature. I was sad today, she marched me down to the counsellors office, hugging me and saying 'you're wonderful, I love you. I want you to be happy, let me help you.'

Ben lied... a very very big elaborate lie... Lots of people are angry. I was, but now I'm not. I just feel betrayed, and worried. It's just so hard, trying to help him and be there for him and being literally sick with worry about him, and having him saying 'none of my friends care'.

*Le sigh*

It's muffin time, mu-mu-mu-mu-muffin time!

I'm baking. House is filled with chocolate mud cake -y smells. It's brilliant.
A cake for photogra-free tomorrow, and muffins for Samantha visitations.

"Oh Susanna! Oh don't you cry for me. I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee." - Does anyone know any more words to that song?

I have nothing to say. I suppose I need to spend more time thinking, then I can write down what I think. I don't have time to think lately.. I've set aside next Wednesday for sleeping, but it might end up being postponed to Friday, or the following Tuesday... I have to plan days of rest well ahead. And here I am contemplating getting a second job. I'm too money-hungry! Still, anyone got any ideas for a nice easy well paying job I could do just one day a week? How's Sunday afternoon sound?

Ooh, maybe next... Friday, I can go to Floriade. That would be nice. Floriade is relaxing etc.

So apparently you can can get free university degrees in prison. Does it say on your diploma that you got it in prison? If not, that could be a way cool way to get a degree.. minus the horrible bits.. and even if it did say it, that'd be pretty hardcore too.

Why is it that suddenly mobile phone spammers have decided I'm Muslim? I keep getting all this 'last feast be4 Rammadan (sp?), wid Sheik Shady @ ******** Mosque' stuff. I don't know why =(

Dial-up is Satan. 21 minutes to download the new messenger... It would be less time consuming to go visit everyone I want to talk to! Riding a crawling 90 year old woman! 90 year old blind woman! With no arms and legs! Okay, so it could actually be worse, but barely...

Guh. At work, so bored, with half an hour left before I can leave. I'm so bored I'm almost tempted to actually do my work... What is this craziness?

I thought work could help take my mind off Ben, and it did for a while, but doesn't solitude make fools of us all... I don't care why he's doing it, I just want him to come home and everything can be dealt with later... Why does Perth have to be so far away?

I think it's ebuddy/dAmn time...

::Wasabi - that idol guy... Shh, it's stuck in my head.. I didn't pick it...::

"I will not go quietly, I will not behave myself" - I Will Not Go Quietly (is that the title?) by The Whitlams

I will not go quietly into being a size 14 damnit!

On Saturday, I bought a pair of size 14 jeans, and just now I tried on a pair of size 14 shorts which my boss gave me... And they fit, well =( I mean, all my 12 stuff, and some of my 10s still fit fine, but the 14s are comfier =(

It will not happen! You gotta fight! For your right! To still be a size 12!

Oh yeah.

Random burst of caring about something other than Ben's health for a moment... *worries*

Remember how I said I'd do a proper entry soon? I lied.. I'm way too busy! I should be studying my butt off right now... or I should have stayed an extra hour at work, then I could have not stayed so long tomorrow, which is ruining my Friday plans... Well, it would be, if I had any...

I think I really need to learn to deal with consequences... Can I do it later? Please?

So, Road Ready weekend after next, and assuming I pass, after that I'll be learning to drive. I advise you lock yourself, family, friends, and valued pets inside. Even I'm scared to have someone like me on the road...

I took my shoes off for large parts of today... Meaning, at recess and I didn't put them back on til I was near work, where I promptly took them off again. I love having tanned dusty feet, and while standing on soft grass is good, standing on smooth compacted dirt is more.. sensual? I feel like I should have bells on my ankles and like I should be dancing like a crazy bohemian gypsy when I stand barefoot in the dirt...

Now, homework! And by homework I mean a little more procrastination, *then* homework... By which I mean dishes, procrastination, and maybe eventually homework...

Guh. Nyuh. Bzuh.

So many things I want to discuss here. So few of them I can because of my potential audience =(

But really, things are good. I mostly think that because it's been sunny. I find it extremely difficult to be sad, or to comprehend the severity of bad situations, when the weather is nice.

I know I keep promising deep posts... maybe later tonight? Once the family goes to bed I'll drink tea and listen to good music and try to get in the zone...

::bounce::

::basks in Dresden Dolls/Piano-accordianist/The Red Paintings wowness::

It. Was. Brilliant. Words cannot describe. Wow. So fun.

Rest of Sydney was fun-ness too! Lani and I decided to have studio apartments in Chinatown... and we met a robot, and I bought stationary which says "He likes his tea weak" all over it. Much excitement.

And today I spent every cent I had left on lollies...

::swoosh::

I want more!

::sings::

"It starts with an A! AARDVARK! AARDVARK! It ends with a K! AARDVARK! AARDVARK!"

And omg, Lani, I got home, and there was pizza!!!

I promise an actual thoughtful non-retelling-of-events entry will come soon...

I've found something as entertaining as googlism! Putting "*name* needs" into Google!

My googlisms:
- Rosie is a sweetie
- Rosie is a silly fish
- Rosie is not a suitable candidate for release because she has an equilibrium problem that causes her to swim in right hand circles
- Rosie is more than just "man's best friend"
- Rosie is becoming discouraged because Albert has not yet informed his controlling mother about their marriage plans

My 'needs':
- Rosie needs to fuck
- Rosie needs psychiatric help
- Rosie needs to find herself
- Rosie needs a new home soon
- Rosie needs to find better things to do

Every single one of them is true! I swears it! Especially that Albert, I just don't know what I'll do with him.

Jordan. Is. Selling. ALL. His. Transformers. Holy crap.

And that will make no sense to anyone who doesn't know him, but it's like, whoa man.

People are full of sadness. It's upsetting because they're good people and they deserve to be happy. "We are young, we run green, keep our teeth nice and clean". They are young and they are beautiful and they're delicate and they have hearts which break easy. I want to fix everything and I want them to be in love with the world the way I am. It makes me sad...

On a lighter note, D-Day bus tickets are purch-ased! Go team! I'm so super excited =) I want to buy beads.. and if I have lots of money, a wig ^_^ (like, if my dad gives me $100 or more..)

Sydney weekend was, in most parts, a success! Went swimming. Discovered my mother's spiritual role model is Better Midler. Had much Sydney fun with Nikola and Twirly Friends. Made up with boyfriend whom I was semi-fighting-type-thing/sad with (this was sealed today when he read my journal and felt guilty, though this was not my expectation. I was waiting for angry or some such...). Had spa-hilarity with Samantha and Samantha's adorable Argentinian boyfriend and some random drunk guy who offered me a beer in exchange for a glance at my boobs. Had a dress bought for me. Succeeded in (belated) Lani-present buying. Ate a really big lollypop. Oh yeah.

Worried about a friend who has sadness where I wish he had happiness. Hopefully will see him tomorrow when I go to buy bus tickets for D-Day =)

Went shopping today! After plum forgetting to meet friends at 10, I met them at more like 12 I think... Got free shit (namely toy gun and 'Hazel' and 'Derek' name meaning magnets..) from Homebase, bought cute shirts/jumpers, resisted the urge to buy beads, gift wrapped another Lani birthday present (Light! Music! Eddy!), laughed at Lex, DDR'd, went to Lex's, walked a very long way home, badgered the boyfriend to come over (he resisted, damn him!), bathed, ate pie, blogged, sleep comes soon please?

Omgwtfbbq! I'm doing Road Ready! Yay! I will soon be able to learn to drive! This may not be a good thing. Oh, and Lex must burn me music, then my life will be complete. As soon as I get that $100 million I'm waiting on...

:bounce, yawn, sleep:

I've become addicted to Bulletin Surveys on Myspace. Not cool man, not cool...

Packing for Sydney =) Takin' my cute lil swimmers 'cause I'm staying at my auntie's house with her indoor pool and spa ^___^ It's been so cold this winter, I wonder if I've forgotten how to swim... And sc-ore! Maman says I can stay wherever I want on Saturday night! Be that Samantha's, Lucy's, or somewhere with Nikola! ^__^ Now let's just hope she gives me plenty of money... She was going to give me $100 next weekend, but I don't need quite that much, so maybe I should get $50 or something this weekend...

Guh. I'm back in love with the Postal Service ^___^ I'd forgotten just how super lovely they are.

Wrote lots last night... I've realised, I do know what I want, I just want it for the wrong reasons. Or more, things which should be minor reasons stand out much more than things which should be big deciding factors. Nonchalance can be fun, but sometimes it just seems detached, emotionless, and like you really just don't care. Makes me sad.

Hmm, if I go to Sam's, maybe we can go out to ---- aww noes! She's working =( Oh well.. I'll work something out... It's not like I have to go somewhere either, I could stay at Dawnie's with my mum and sister.

Much Postal Service Love,

Rosie. xox.

Read 'Flowers for Algernon'. Cried. Had intense discussions with and about the boyfriend. Cried. Read more of 'Angela's Ashes'. Cried. Freaked out about life in general. Cried.

Damn it.

Happy Birthday Lovely Lani!

^_^

Hope the day and year to come are excellent. "You've come a long long way and you deserve to be really happy now" - Kimya Dawson

[Edit: the picture used to say 'Happy 5th Birthday Roman', I decided to change it and repost.]

The unknown goes barefoot.

Organic gardening postpones selfless creativity.

Wonder casts a chaste shadow.

Intimacy might not “be” rational.

Making love can build mental prisons (prisms)?

Last week I had the strangest dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where there was never any mystery on who shot John F Kennedy
It was just a man with something to prove
Slightly bored and severely confused
He steadied his rifle with his target in the center
And became famous on that day in November

Dont wake me I plan on sleeping
Dont wake me I plan on sleeping in

And then last night I had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in November

Dont wake me I plan on sleeping
(now we can swim any day in November)
Dont wake me I plan on sleeping in

You know what sucks? Awkwardness and teenageness and stupid emotions and my lack of many lives and magic. Not the sort of thing which I can discuss oh-so-publicly as here, but which certainly needs to be deeply considered. Man, I'm really dumb...

Zentences. It's so damn cool. I could do it for hours... You know what else I could do for hours? Laugh at Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel jokes.

So, it was nice and sunny and springish, and then it got rainy and stormy and cold. But that's lovely too in its own way.

Today, my bus was full of military men. The ones who joined me saluted the colleagues they left behind in the culturally-sensitive concrete haven which had sheltered them from the rain, but never the cold. After noting this, I realised how much the bus smelt like sweaty-fat-man =
Are we too arrogant? Thinking as deeply as we do. Dissecting the inner workings of our minds and society. Or is this a privilege we've earned and we deserve purely because we have the ability to use it? Am I pseudo-deep-teen ranting? The answer to that, I know.

I know where most of the Departments I work with are now. Today I found AusAID and Attorney-General, which I think makes one location for each department. It's interesting. I never noticed them before, now I'm like "oh, Department of ********, I still have to invoice the Russian books for them.". Work is starting to infect my mind. Though I really don't feel like going tomorrow. Especially not if this weather keeps up. I think I might go to bed early tonight. I'm frazzled already and I have much business ahead of me still. I don't know if I have the energy or the money to go camping, and cold weather wouldn't help, don't want to be sick when I go to the Dolls... It might be nice just to spend at least one day lying in bed doing nothing... If I don't go camping I have two possible nothingness days... on at least one of which I intend to go out for coffee ^^

"Whenever I put the headset on now," he'd continued, "I really do understand what I find there. When those kids sing about 'She loves you,' yeah well, you know, she does, she's any number of people, all over the world, back through time, different colors, sizes, ages, shapes, distances from death, but she loves. And the 'you' is everybody. And herself. Oedipa, the human voice, you know, it's a flipping miracle." His eyes brimming, reflecting the color of beer.

"Baby," she said, helpless, knowing of nothing she could do for this, and afraid for him.

He put a little clear plastic bottle on the table between them. She stared at the pills in it, and then understood. "That's LSD?" she said.

- The Crying of Lot 49, Thomas Pynchon

Listened to The Postal Service today. Lovely. Especially turned up nice and loud while watching the rain out a bus window and writing about military men and sweaty-fat-man smell.

How excitement =) Despite a couple o' stressy issues poking at me when I let my guard down, things are pretty damn happiness. Coffee in 2 and a half hours with Ben, and with Nikola three hours after that. And it's okay that the badge I bought Ben is one he already had, because his broke! See, I'm psychic, nyah? And then work tomorrow, which is fine, and Tehliah's film screening after that, and then maybe something with mon garcon-ami, which should be lovely. Sleep in! And then off to Sydney with ma mere est ma souer at about 3. Must remember to take swimmers as it's warm there and even if it were cold the pool at my auntie's is indoors and heated =) Hopefully will see Lucy, and Samantha too. Lovely lovely people. =) Then after work on Monday... Camping! Yay for camping =) Hope it all works out with the camping.. Work again Thursday, maybe coffee with Tehliah, Kent, Michael, and Phillip on Friday, and then... Dresden Dolls! Oh the yay =)

So, anyone read Angela's Ashes? I'm like, not even half-way through it, but it makes me cry so much! I always feel kind of stupid crying over books, but this is like, severely tragic... Maybe I should take How To Have A Beautiful Mind by Edward de Bono on the bus with me instead... crying in front of a bus-load of strangers might earn me a few weird looks...

Now, it's icon making time! :goes off to make bondage icons:

It always upsets me when someone I care about is sad, and I try as hard as I can to make them happy, but they just can't seem to absorb it... I wish there was just some magic thing I could do, to let them see things my way. I suppose all I can do is keep trying and maybe I can cheer them up by degrees, slowly.

:listens to The Servant by Cells:

I'm going to start caring about stuff, and actually knowing about stuff, and doing stuff about stuff I don't like. Later?

I'm sad about nuclear energy. In year 8 we learnt all about Green Energy in Science and I can't believe how stupid some people are! Like the lady who lives at Lake George who violently opposed the installation of a wind farm on one of the hills surrounding the lake because it will 'ruin the vista'. But acid rain and radiation poisoning are way cool? And why don't we use tidal energy? Australia has some of the most powerful tides anywhere in the world and tidal energy harvesting turbines can be installed below the high tide water level so they're insivible at high tide, and these places are too dangerous to swim anyway. Australia is perfect for solar, wind, and tidal energy, and we want to use nuclear energy? Guh.

Greens still haven't got back to me about volunteering =( Might send them another email...

:listens to Grey Ghost by Mike Doughty:

"I'm beyond your peripheral vision" - Ani DiFranco, 32 Flavours

Yay for lovely friends.

So, I spent the afternoon today with Alexis and Melissa. We talked about stuff and played DDR and did some 'light shopping' and I managed not to spend too much money and I bought a badge for me and a little badgey present for a friend (I hope it cheers him up, though I'm now thinking he may have it already...).

Tomorrow shall be a day of lovely friendy Essen-ness. If I were meeting someone at 11 too it'd be crazy ('cause I'm meeting Ben at 1 and then Nikola at 4)... But yes, I plan to sit in the loveliness of Essen (I have to work out what to wear 'cause it's set to be cold and maybe rainy tomorrow) with my Summer Puddin' tea and talk and be friendy and people-watch. I am sure it will be quite lovely.

Today we sat on the grass in the sun and wished we had a guitar and decided to do some political stencil art. In fact, I think I might go make some stencils (in Photoshop..) and when I get around to it, I shall spray them on the ground in Civic... Please don't arrest me!

:listens to Self Evident by Ani DiFranco:

I'm in a list mood lately. As well as my 'list of things I know' and 'list of people who are lovely', I now have a 'Happiness is...' list which is quickly growing =) I think I need to add 'interesting text message conversations of trust, kinks, and teenage pseudo-depth', because they are happiness too.

:listens to 99 Luftballoons by Nena:

It's iPod refill day. This week we have:

• Ani DiFranco
• the Arcade Fire
• the Dresden Dolls
• Iron and Wine
  
• Kimya Dawson
• Mike Doughty
• Portishead
• the Postal Service
• Van Morrison
• Wilco
• the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I'll get my little fill of all this, and redo it in a week or two. I think next time demands Tegan and Sara and the Go! Team.

It is a lovely spring day (though it's set to rain tomorrow) and I'm full of friend-love. Today is DDR, tomorrow is coffee with Ben, and then with Nikola. Sydney with family this weekend, camping the next week, and Dresden Dolls adventure the following weekend. The weather couldn't be more ideal for things like this. I feel compelled to drown in music and spill my thoughts onto waiting paper and draw peace signs in chalk, and tell people I love them. Now I just need to get a new adaptor for my fat headphones... could be a problem. But my little orange sony stolen-from-John-Howard ones will do for now.

Much blue-nail-polished love,

Rosie. xox.

"Feeling overwhelmed like a wombat at a Tool concert trying to comprehend intense prog rock" - the Bedroom Philosopher

That was completely neccessary.

So now it's midnight, and I'm nursing a cherry liquer chocolate, and drinking tea from my dinosaur cup, and reading Chris's blog, and appreciating the fact that there are many lovely people in the world. I think I need to make a list of all the good people I meet, because it would be sad if I were to forget them. They're lovely, and it would be very very sad if they were forgotten. It makes me sad sometimes that I don't have enough time to thoroughly get to know a whole bunch of really awesome people. I wish I had like 50 lives. There are certain paths I can't follow if I wish to preserve other things, all sorts of relationships ya know? So if I had 50 lives I could do all those things, and get to know all those people and dedicate my time to them, and I could go back to this life if I wanted.

:listens to We're Dancing by Mandy Moore:

Mandy Moore pre-2000 is uber cuteness.

In the kitchen a little while ago, I wondered whether I should call Danny. But I realised I'm quite content with one (clarifying) outlet for my thoughts... I think calling him would be confusing, and maybe I'd lose my.. groove? Plus, he's probably asleep...

Savouring food is good. People often seem to think I'm a bit odd because of the way I pull my food apart.. but it's my way of savouring the goodness. I like all the elements apart, and must save the best till last. Otherwise it just becomes a big flavour-mess.

:nibbles chocolate:

Did I tell y'all I get to see my friends tomorrow? I'm so pleased. :licks liquer off cherry centre of her chocolate friend:Like my friend-friends, my high school friends, and my bestest friend. Friend-friends like like-like, nyah? It'll be nice.. sorta old-timesy hopefully =)

Hey, for christmas, I think a really good idea for something for someone to get me, would be an extremely large amount of fresh cherries. Super red ones. Plzkthx?

:listens to Oldflame by the Arcade Fire:

Cherry love,

Rosie. xox.

What kind of primary school boy pierces his own.. thinger, in front of a crowd of 7 year olds? And I wonder, he'd be at least in year 11 by now, do you reckon it caused permanent damage?

I've decided to make a list of things I know. Proving the existence of the universe and matter itself aside, it has to be like.. facts. Things I believe wholeheartedly.

So far I have:

• Smoking when pregnant harms your baby
• If you dump stuff *outside* the charity bins, it doesn't go to charity
• I think milk infused chai tastes super delicious
• I think oysters don't taste so delicious
• I have faith in people to look after each other
  

I plan to write my list so far in a notebook and keep adding to it. I like things which clarify my thoughts. They may not seem clarified to you, but they're vastly moreso than when they first appear. Now I just need to work on making them cohesive in essays... hmm.

So so super excited about Dresden Dolls ^__^ And there now may be a Chris and a Luci which would be super cool. In a rather drunken state last night Chris seemed very impress with my blog-ful ramblings... Curiouser and curiouser. (In fact, all of last night was lovely, big smooshy thank yous to all ^_^ esp. Lani and Win for cheering mind-clarifying conversations)

So, apparently Play School have been swept up in political correctness, thus missing the niceness of old nursery rhymes. They changed 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' to 'Baa Baa Wool-y Sheep'... May I be the first to say whoop-de-frickin-do? There are far more crazinesses to do with obscene political correctness than a nursery rhyme... Still, black sheep wasn't a racist thing was it? Or did I miss something crucial?

Steve Irwin died. I think that's quite sad. I didn't pay much attention to him, but he just seemed like a really honest person. And he had 3 little kids... Almost makes me cry. I remember how wretchedly upset I was the first night without my dad when my parents split up. I was 5. I can't even begin to imagine what knowing you're never going to see your father again would be like. I remember when I realised that my kitten being run over meant he was really gone forever, it was so heartbreakingly horrible.

I've decided that the most powerful expression of friendship is random drop-everything visits when someone's sad. It just makes you feel so so so loved. Phone conversations are good, but I think when your friend calls you, and is super sad, the bestest thing you can ever do is be like "I'll be there as soon as possible!". Most other things can wait, it's the sort of thing that really cements love.

I realised today, I've been so worried about being stuck between my friends. Like, wanting to get to know new people better, but not being really close to them yet, but in order to do that, it felt like I couldn't help but drift away from my old friends. But I think there's something in so many years of friendship that I didn't count on. You can 'drift apart', and you can get to know new people, and spend less time together, but when you are together, there's still a reason you were friends. Even when you have nothing in common any more, you have experiences, and it's almost as if you get on a sort of wavelength, where you can still connect.

Maybe that makes no sense, but thinking it makes me happy.

Much contemplatively cheerful love,

A girl who knows some stuff for sure.

"I don't need to walk around in circles/Walk around with Yurkle/Walk around in---" - Soul Coughing, Circles

Happy father's day to all your fathers =) I got my papa a huge box of chocolates and we've been bonding over music. Of course, being the perfect daughter I am, I'm going out tonight...

I think I need to relax. Let go of the drama... I'm as dramatic as Miss D. lately... Sydney, camping, and more Sydney are going to be super fun and shall not be marred by drama! Everything happens for a reason, if people are pulled in different directions, it doesn't mean any of them did anything wrong, it just means they grew apart, they can still be friends. It just won't be the same as it used to. And, the less drama, the less chance of an actual falling out.

Lovely spring day again today... I washed lots of clothes =) and even though it rained, the sun came out again, and everything is almost dry. I'm going to start crocheting a pink fluffy scarf. Baby pink with white and pink flowers eventually. Ooh, or maybe I'll make it pink and white stripes.. and then give it to Windt in my art class! Baby pink and white are just like.. her. She's cute and azn, and always wears white with her little pink iPod headphones. She's shiny and smooth and clean. Pink and white fluffiness will suit her. And stripes are super.

I have another thing to pour my money into, more brightly coloured clothes! I need to replace my chucks too... maybe I'll get blue ones or something. My rip off ones are well and truly dead. I must carefully choose which sox to wear with them, because it's a suicide mission for Mr. Sock. I did get new ones, but they're too small... I *will* replace them eventually, and maybe I'll sell the other ones on eBay! I think that sounds like a plan. I also want more accessories... Mou-Lou is making me a lovely bag, which shall be tres awesome. =)

It makes me sad to think that life only gets more complicated from here. This is complicated enough, thank you! Still, it's nice to think of all the adventures which are sure to follow. We've almost finished year 11, some of my friends are finishing year 12 soon. It's scary, life will be different, but hopefully it'll mostly be different in good ways. There are going to be people who I'll never see again... 'stay in touch!' but no one ever bothers kind of thing. The boys want to go to Melbourne Uni... if work is looking like staying stable and maybe getting better, I'll have to stay here... I really couldn't leave for any sort of prolonged period of time. Maybe at the end of next year I'll go to Melbourne with them, and check it out, and if there are opportunities there which outweigh what I'll have here, maybe I'll stay. I would like to live elsewhere at some point, Sydney or Melbourne would be good. Anyway, I shouldn't get all caught up making my plans around a job which may or may not lead to anything more. I'll get my apprenticeship, and see how the business is looking then.

Miam, passionfruit cream.

Chocolate, the perfect distraction from procrastinatory life contemplation... and maths.

Much chocolate-y music-y love,

Rosie, Queen of Corona.

"Kids don't sell their hopes so fast..."

But the prospect of getting out of maths study would tempt them, I think.

3+ hours of maths = slow and painful death.

And I'm sure I'll remember none of it during the exam.

Who would have thought that the green speaker jack goes in the yellow hole, and *not* the matching green one? Surely I cannot be mocked for getting that one wrong... Though maybe I can be just a little mocked for severely freaxing out, and not thinking of that despite the fact that it happens all the time.

It was the most gorgeous day today. I'm always surprised at how quickly Spring sets in. Last week it was *freezing* then, as soon as it was officially Spring; happy families, sunny weather, flowers in bloom, etc. So so lovely.

Thinking of Summer now,

Me.

"Musical ubiquity..."

Can you imagine living in a place where, in Summer, the sun just doesn't set? It could be quite advantageous (sp?) if you were Napoleon. Apparently he only ever slept for one or two hours at a time...

Sister is satanic. She *must* play Sims. Her computer cannot entertain her. So I have to use it. I hate it =( It has none of my files, and the mouse doesn't scroll... Makes me sad. But hey, I'm not a starving baby in Africa, so things are sweet, nyah?

"That's my acidophilus and bifidophilus, and you keep-it-off-ilus please."

Nothing beats Boysenberry yoghurt on a lovely spring afternoon =) especially when said yoghurt is eaten with my supremely shiny spoon. It's a super-great spoon.

Dresden Dolls shall be awesomeness much. And it's soon. Yay. And I'm going to Sydney next weekend too. And camping in assessment week. 3 x Yay =)

La La Love You,

Moi.

Warning: Sharpening 70+ pencils is dangerous. It gives you ouchy blisters, and pencil-shaving covered hands. Not cool at all.

I just don't know what to do for the best.

I cannot make decisions, this we know. Seems like coming up with the options is even harder.

I'm completely disconnected from my friends. I know it's my fault; we've all been busy and I've been spending time with other people and not trying hard enough to make time for them, but it makes me sad that it doesn't seem to bother them at all.

I just want everything to be fixed. I want there to be enough time for me to nurture my friends (and prove to them that I want to, and that I love them and need them and severely miss them) and spend time with the boyfriend, and spend time with new people... and I know it's just not going to happen and I have to face the consequences of my actions. But I'm feeling teary and sorry for myself, k?

Watching Bridget Jones's Diary does not help. Makes me want to talk like her. Very bad.

Much stressed out and upset love,

Rosie.

*is super excited*

I should be stressed about school and stuff. I really should. But I've passed from stress into numbness, and from numbness into blissful ignorance! Stealing paper clips in primary colours is a great way to lighten one's mood.

Also, yay!!! Justaan got us Chili Peppers tickets! And even yay-er, Dresden Dolls with Lani is like 99% def.!!! I'm so pleased ^_______^

Pleased and exhausted... I did 5 hours at work today when I wasn't even meant to be working ^^

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/ladies/6f59/ Buy it for me, pretty please.

:listens to 'Scarecrow and Fungus' by Regina Spektor: