(Their) Tentacle Romance rocked it today =)

So, I went to 'band practise' and it was really quite cool. Turns out the boys can actually play for the most part! I played some guitar, and bass, and sang a little, which was fun. If I had the confidence (let alone the talent beyond my extremely limited range..) to get up on stage, I'd be a little more willing to sing with them. As it is, if they do want me, which I doubt, it'll take a little persuading.

I feel kind of bad. I ditched Kent's play (to which I was going alone, lame boyfriend not taking me to parties) to eat BBQ chicken with my dad... But I was too tired and cold and running late... So I'm sure he'll forgive me. Would have liked to see it though.

When I thought I might be pregnant, I decided that non-existent-and-would-never-have-been-born-anyway baby's name was Hazel. Once Hazel really exists, my next daughter shall be called Gloria. And one of them will have Delilah for a middle name. My boys will be James and William, I've never doubted that. It's the daughter's whom I'm sure I'll have and am dying to meet that I have trouble naming...

"It's got to be perfect"

I'm sure it will be one day, but what's the point in living after that? I have on occassion, moments of intense love for the world, but it's not really perfect, just very very very good.

So, my sister has decided to ruin Bebo for me by commenting on all my photos. Today I have received over 20 emails "You have a new comment from Katey!"... :shiver: She must be stopped. Her comments are completely inconsequential observations on things I already know, or don't care about. Par example, on a photo of our old dog, Doug, she wrote something along the lines of 'oMg itz DoUg!!!!11!!!1!' and a little piece of me died.

Most pathetic thing ever:
For a moment just then, I questioned the validity and potential of my relationship with my boyfriend because I can't picture him 30-something, mowing the back lawn or painting the fence, while I sit in a rocking chair on the shady porch, breast-feeding Gloria, watching James and Will play soccer, trying not to hit Hazel while she plays with her dolls on the stairs.

I give such things far too much thought. I wish you could see into my mind for a moment. I know the entire layout of my house and the decour(sp?) of every room... I even know what's in most of the drawers.

"And on the bus today, I met the Queen of L.A., at least she said she was, and who am I to say? She was sixty-five and full of life. She had purple painted cheeks and glitter on her eyes." - Concrete Blonde, 'Still Living in Hollywood'

I had a reason to open Myspace, and now there's no way in the world I can possibly recall why I did...

I wish I had time to drown in my music a little more. I have nothing to do until tomorrow night, so I can sleep in, perhaps tonight I'll take the time to appreciate my music. What I often do, is download heaps and heaps of music, and then just play it, in the background. So I don't pay attention, and I don't know the names of any songs, and I'm not sure of the artists for many...

I'll probably blog again in the wee hours of the morning, about how unloved I am tonight, and how much my music is my one true love. Though we know my one true love is actually the retarded guy who cleans the windows at Starbucks in Manuka. His name is Beau, and he's beau-tiful. We're meant to be =P

:yawns, cries a little, spazzes out, fizzles and dies:

Much love,

Rosie.